So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he thought i was a dude.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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