i wish there were pregnant emoticons
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
