I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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