Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
