I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
