I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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