I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
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