He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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