tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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