Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
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I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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