I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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