you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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