we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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