you win again, gameday.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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