oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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