Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
