I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.