this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do vagina's smell?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.