need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face