All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize