i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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