where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be