we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
