Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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