I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
