When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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