Plan B is the new Plan A
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Too much gin, very little bucket
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
