well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
