when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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