Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize