dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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