So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
