Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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