she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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