ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.