I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.