Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  you srsly need to quit going to that bar

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  (517): areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?! (616): you srsly need to quit going to that bar http://tfl.nu/h4yo
  Replies (25) Good night (1359) Bad night (454)
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  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (131) Good night (8265) Bad night (23692)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

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  (412): Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with. http://tfl.nu/nobk
  Replies (8) Good night (2718) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You are so irish.

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  (585): I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better. (1-585): You are so irish. http://tfl.nu/pewr
  Replies (19) Good night (6893) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.

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  (978): So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show. http://tfl.nu/9mds
  Replies (16) Good night (3663) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."

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  (478): All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk." http://tfl.nu/3sim
  Replies (10) Good night (3182) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.

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  (513): We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed. http://tfl.nu/rz1w
  Replies (2) Good night (1435) Bad night (1225) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.

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  (850): HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM. http://tfl.nu/agqo
  Replies (13) Good night (577) Bad night (2171) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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  (540): i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall http://tfl.nu/ora9
  Replies (6) Good night (3655) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult

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  (780): Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult http://tfl.nu/fk5u
  Replies (14) Good night (887) Bad night (2193) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.

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  (919): It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn. http://tfl.nu/o70k
  Replies (6) Good night (1099) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.

  (682): View more from Texas

  They're mostly guys

  (817): View more from Texas

  Early bird gets the worm.

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  (817): I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single. (682): They're mostly guys (817): Early bird gets the worm. http://tfl.nu/9qay
  Replies (7) Good night (2344) Bad night (410)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?

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  (720): i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today? http://tfl.nu/v6y2
  Replies (7) Good night (1469) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.

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  (704): She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast. http://tfl.nu/wpj9
  Replies (4) Good night (1558) Bad night (448)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand

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  (509): My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand http://tfl.nu/ch2o
  Replies (14) Good night (2551) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt

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