I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!