so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize