About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
