I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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