I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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