I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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