I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.