I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"