I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.