apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize