i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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