there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
