She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize