I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
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im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
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On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.