Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.