Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.