I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize