I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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