I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer