these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize