He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
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I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
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Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize