If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
