We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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