i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
